2 in diapers

[Caitlyn Taphorn]

My husband and have two beautiful babies, a 2 month old girl and 14 month old boy. My DH is a police officer and works long hours (6am-10pm), so I'm doing a lot of "zone defense" right now. Does anyone have some experience with kids that close together? Could you give me some tips on how to handle naps, feedings, household chores...taking a shower? I just need a game plan on how to handle this. Right now I feel totally out numbered!!!

Also, some insight on when this will start getting easier. : /

[Kathy]

WOW, it must be difficult for you. I think the best thing would be to TRY getting into a good routine. Are you breastfeeding? Do the kids both nap at the same time?

I would start with writing down normal "stuff" that happens on a daily basis just to wrap your head around it. Then, try to see on paper where you can add, or modify your daily routine. If the babies both nap at the same time, try showering then. If not, try a shower right after breakfast when you can take your 14 month with you and put the other down for a rest.

One of the hardest things I had to change when my daughter was little was the thought that I didn't have time to finish something so I didn't even start it! The best thing for me was to break things down in little tasks. So, I didn't get the living room all cleaned, but I would get it dusted. Another thing I had to realize was that my house wasn't going to be spotless all at once. I have to prioritize what needs cleaning when.

Do you have any close friends or relatives that can help you out? Even if they come over and babysit or play with the kids for a couple of hours so you can grocery shop or clean would help.

Most of all, don't cut yourself off from the world. Join a Mom's group where you can schedule play dates and chat with other Moms. If you belong to a church, start your own group with some of the Moms.

I hope this helps!

Kathy
www.balterbaby.com

[M Baxter]

I have kiddos pretty close together myself. (We adopted two at the same time, had a surprise bonus pregnancy, and decided to keep at it, for a total of four kids in five years.) I had to learn to structure life around what the babies needed. Which was hard while they were young (now my youngest is two, and it's amazing how much easier life is.)

You might find, as time goes by, that you develop "just in case" strategies. A dinner you can whip out just in case you don't have time to cook. A way to shower- maybe you all get in the bath together- we have a hand held shower that fits over the tub faucet- and you get at least some personal cleaning done.

As a last resort, Baby Einstein. If your babies will watch Baby Einstein for twenty minutes, you may get a chance to sit with your feet up. Giving yourself a break in the day can be a big help when you are working so hard to do everything and be a great mom all day.

If your kids are having a tough day, give up and stop trying to make everything work. Let the house go. Eat peanut butter sandwiches or whatever for dinner.

Make things as easy for yourself as possible. Don't sort the kids' laundry if you can get away with not. Instead of folding all the tiny little clothes neatly, stuff the knits, at least, in plastic bins. Don't work any harder than you have to. Give yourself permission to let less important things go. Life really does get easier again when the kids get older. Really, truly, it does. In fact, by the time that newborn gets to around five or six months, things should be a lot easier. Some days, anyway. ;)

Don't underestimate how tired you are. If you are breastfeeding that two month old baby, cut yourself a lot of slack. You're getting up several times a night, and putting out a lot of calories. If the babies nap at the same time ever, lay down and rest.

[Caitlyn Taphorn]

Thanks for your suggestions! I just wanted to give you guys an update, things are going much better. I have them both on a nap and feeding schedule that has helped quite a bit. I put them both down for a morning and afternoon nap around the same time so I can get a shower and do some chores. I'm still pretty exhausted, but I am finding that I can even sneak a nap in the afternoon sometimes. By no means are we out of the woods yet, but it is getting easier with every day. I thought I would also add some of my own "tips from the trenches" in case anyone else stumbles across this who is in a similar situation.

1. Get them on a schedule!
- but understand that it takes newborns a while to find their "rhythm" (~2 months)

2. At least once a day have them nap at the same time so you can get a shower, pay bills...and take a break.

3. Use Peapod or some other grocery delivery service. It's $8 for delivery, so what?! cheaper than meds to keep your sanity intact!

4. Forget about cooking. -
We have been living off of fruits and veggies and healthy snacks, no real sit down meals. It takes only a few minutes to cut up some fruit, there are no pots and pans to clean and I am loosing my baby weight like crazy!

5. Realize no matter what you do there will crying. Sometimes you just have to let one of them cry for a few minutes so you can take care of the other ones needs. THEN you can go back to taking care of the other one. Otherwise you have two babies crying instead of one!

6. Saturdays mom gets to sleep until she can't sleep anymore. - This one I got from my parents (my mom had eight kids and my dad would watch us and my mom could sleep as long as she wanted.) My husband and I started doing it, it's AWESOME! Thanks mom!!!

7. Think happy thoughts
-Realize how lucky you are. When I can't take it anymore I think about my friends that want children and are having an impossible time trying to have them because of fertility issues and miscarriages. (unfortunately a lot of them). This is hard but I am lucky!...admission- I have also thought of just giving one / both to those friends. ; )
- Have a sense of humor. Some of the mishaps are pretty funny....in hindsight.
- Appreciate your husband and tell him how thankful you are for him.