Any over 35 (or 40 would be even better) first time moms?

[Gina]

I'd love to hear about your experience. I have no kids and I'm thinking of trying soon. I'm 40 and a huge procrastinator!

[Cheri]

I'm 35. Had my child at 34. I'm having a great time. I sometimes wonder if I would be so exhausted if I were in my 20s, but generally speaking, feel great about it. There are lots of things you gain with age--wisdom, patience--that you don't have when you are younger. Go for it!

[Gina]

Hi Cheri! Thanks for the reply. I certainly think I'm more wise now but I keep thinking it doesnt matter how wise I am if I can't drag my ass outta bed, right? ha ha

[Mary Ann]

I'm 42, and we adopted our daughter in February. I did get pregnant last year (miscarried), but we'd always thought that we wanted to be parents more than we wanted to be pregnant, and so we went the adoption route. What a great experience it's been. I really feel mentally and emotionally prepared for parenthood, but I certainly don't have the energy I had 10 or even 5 years ago! Still, she's keeping me young.

[Gina]

Mary Ann - thanks for the reply. Anka is just adorable!!

I do feel that I'm prepared where I've never been prepared before, but I'll tell you it's really hard to find any stories at all about successful pregnancies after 40. It makes me really question whether it'll ever happen and it's made me pretty scared to even start trying. Everybody seems to have such sad painful stories of failure.

[Mary Ann]

Gina ... I've got several friends or relatives who had successful over-40 pregnancies. And many of those weren't with major fertility treatments (although most did use the med clomid to help things along). My cousin was 44 when she had her daughter (now 5), and she had no problems. My doctor was optimistic that it would have worked for us, but we really felt adoption was a better fit.

All of that being said, it really does get incrementally more difficult the older you get -- that's just the facts of biology. Try not to get stressed, and whatever is meant to be will happen.

[Carrie Levin]

Gina,

I had my first at 39 (after 5 miscarriages) and my second at 40 (surprise!). I have loads of friends who have had successful pregnancies over 40. If having a baby is what you want, you should do it. You will bring all of your life experience to your mothering. My friend Deb had 2 in her twenties and 2 in her forties. She put it like this "when you are a younger mom you have more energy; when you are older you have more patience".

[Tracey]

I just turned 42 when my son was born. I work full time and yes, I get tired. My husband is a great hands on dad and I don't know how women who are married to men who won't change diapers do it. If you have support and really want it, do it. My son is hands down the best thing that ever happened to me. I never wanted kids and can't believe how close I came to not having him. It would've been so sad for me not to know the sheer happiness he is.

[Gina]

Tracey - thanks so much for replying. You sound just like me!

Did you have any trouble getting pregnant? Any health concerns with you or your son while you were pregnant?

[Mary Ann]

Tracey ... I hear you about having help from your husband or significant other. Luckily, my husband is younger than me (I'm 42 and he's 34), and he makes up for my lack of energy on many days! He loves spending time with Anka and is a great dad. I certainly am more "in charge" and know what's going on, but he's a pro at diapers, baths, bedtime, playing, going to daycare, etc.

[mommyo2]

Hi! I'm 39 and had my twins when I was 37.

I am so glad we waited, I don't think that I could have handled it all as well in my 20's. I feel like I had an opportunity to "live my life" and do a lot of things before I had kids, now I have the time, patience and wisdom that I just don't think I would have had (or given up so willingly) before.

we didn't really have trouble conceiving, just watch out, multiples are more common over 35 :)!

[Sandra Kabler]

Hi, I had my first child Kate in August 2nd 2004 right before my 40th birthday (August 30th). She was an IVF baby because we had been trying for 3 years naturally, with no luck. My second child Stephen was a wonderful surprise and was born August 24th 2006 right before my 42nd birthday! I thought I could not get pregnant because of the difficulty in conceiving Kate, and was happily wrong. I had no problems with either pregnancy and both children are happy and healthy! I also did not get any advanced maternal age tests (except a 20 week sonigram), because we were so happy to be pregnant that I did not want to know any information (including gender) ahead of time. Luckily, I had a very understanding OB/GYN group that did not pressure me to do the tests. My children are a joy to me, and my age has not slowed me down or affected my time and ability to keep up with them.!

[Jennifer]

Hi Gina

I had my daughter in July of 2007, and I was 35. She is the best! Like some of the other posters have said, I don't think I was mentally ready to take care of a child while in my 20s. My pregnancy was relatively easy (although the phrase "advanced maternal age" hurts every time I hear it!). My biggest problem is my energy level. I am always tired. I thought it would get better when my daughter started sleeping through the night, but so far, no change. So bedtime is 9 most nights. Not a huge deal for me!

It seems to me like most of my friends who started their families later have partners who are more willing to be equal parents. It sure helps!