College is not my problem

[Timothy]

So, I was listening to NPR "Talk of the Nation" today and they had a segment on The Price of College, lots of OMG! College is expensive! A whole lot of parents talking about how they are planning, saving, or borrowing to send their kids to school, and choosing schools based on cost vs. quality vs. prestige, etc.

I find I've got a major disconnect. My wife and I both got through bachelor and Ph.D. with little help from family, via work, scholarships, grants, and debt. Now we've got a 5-year-old, and I'm being told that I'm horribly irresponsible for not planning his college financing before he even started kindergarten.

To my sight, college is the kid's problem. He can go or not, as he sees fit, and decide how to pay, what's worth paying for, etc. depending on what he wants. College is a huge decision in life, and I plan on helping him figure it out, but it's not my life, it's his, and entering college he'll be an adult.

But, again, I keep hearing that I'm mind-bogglingly irresponsible not to be saving RIGHT NOW to pay for his school. And I don't want to screw my son over, either.

Argh.

[Zicea Becks]

THANK YOU!

I want my kids to go to college. I'm sorry...I just want the best for them.

5 out of 6 of my kids are girls, and I don't want them to slack off and end up marrying some man to take care of them and pop a bunch of kids, and be upholding to him. Or be afraid to leave (if the marriage was abusive) because she has nowhere to go and no skills to get her life back together.


and not everyone ends up marrying a guy with money...she might marry some other guy who didn't go to school and works at the McDonalds...then they're paycheck to paycheck with kids and Medicaid for insurance.


I'LL be D*MNED!


Those little heffas are going to college...even if they go slow and major in sociology (not knocking anyone, but you can't do much with that unless you get a PhD).

That's why I am a firm believer in getting on you're kids about school early...don't wait until their senior year and get mad if they can't get a scholarship because they suck in calculus.

Like I said before, i'm not saying one is a bad parent if they can't afford.

But I know that even if i didn't have the money, i would do whatever I can to help get them through college.

If mama has to get on a pole...joking, but you get my point.

Only here in America, people are so laxed about education. It's a high priviledge in other countries. Like Aderet says, either you're smart, go to school and have a decent life, or you scrub toilets.

[Low Auto Insurance expert]

My mother "bless her soul" was a single mom too, and she worked 3 jobs just to pay for my college in the 80s.

[Keri]

I think it really just depends on your philosophy regarding education, how much you want to do for your child(ren), etc. My husband and I were both in the same boat you describe as far as working our ways through undergraduate educations and then graduate school, which I have always felt as an...oversight...on my parents' part (at least as far as college is concerned). I went to an amazing private school, but sadly was not able to make the most of the actual educational opportunites because I was ALWAYS working. I personally would never dream of having a child that I couldn't afford to send to college--that is why we are only having one--but that is just my personal value system. Some parents also don't think they should give their kids allowance, or buy them school clothes when they could babysit for the money themselves, etc. I personally disagree, and I don't personally feel my education was more important because I paid for it--I would have gotten a TON more out of it if I could have just studied and spent my time in the library. However, again it really is up to your own philosophy. No one can make you want to do certain things for your kids. Either you do, or you don't.

That being said, just keep in mind that even though you don't plan to pay for your child's education, colleges work on the assumption that you are the (mostly) responsible party for paying tuition, and will calculate your kid's financial aid package based on your household income. So, if you make enough of a salary that a college will want full or close-to-full tuition from your family, remember that said school is expecting most of that to come from you as the parent. So if it DOESN'T come from you, your kid is going to be required to pay his own expected contribution PLUS the parental expected contribution. That could end up saddling your kid with an unbelievable burden that prevents him from being able to completely focus on school because he's worried about money all the time. Or simply can't afford to go to a decent school, period.

On the other hand, some heavily-endowed schools like Harvard and Princeton have recently acknowledged that it isn't so fair to financially penalize the middle class of normal kids (neither rocket scientists nor extremely impoverished) so if the child's family makes less than a certain amount of money (I think around 100K), tuition is waved.

[The Griscom Volkman Family]

Harvard, I believe, recently announced that you can pay the lesser of full tuition (which is probably north of $40,000 these days, i am guessing) and 10% of your income (not sure if that's pre-tax or after tax). If only all universities had $30 billion plus endowments !

[Low Auto Insurance expert]

Is that for Undergraduate or is that a Harvard Graduate school, I heard its for the graduate schools.
Ms Biggest Firesale

[Keri]

Here is some more accurate information. I was wrong about the exact details!
http://www.flhef.org/opportunities/yale-half-price-tuition.html

[Tom]

I believe the push to provide for your child's education stems from the idea that college/university will become so expensive when they come of age that they will not be able to afford and/or qualify for the debt load that tuition calls for. While I don't think parents should be called upon to pay for their child's entire education (although I'm sure there are parents out there that disagree with me), I think it would be prudent to atleast be able to help out with part of the cost. Helping your child without taking away the responsibility that they need to take seriously...

[Khrystena]

I am not saving money for my daughters education, really I am not in the position to do so. I have made sure we live in a great community for Universities and Colleges. She will live at home rent free, and be given a car. We are lucky to have picked the community we live in. There isn't a program she could pick that isnt' offered within a 45 minute drive from home.