She just wont sleep!

My 15 month old daughter has been having a terrible time staying asleep once she goes down for the night. bedtime ranges from 8 to 930... and shes usually awake screaming at least 2 hours after. she screams for me to go in there, but i dont want to start something. ive tried everything, leaving the tv on with a low volume, going in every 10 minutes and laying her down and telling her "nite nite". she just doesnt get it. im losing sleep and my patience at the same time

(yes this is my first kid. nothing to compare to)

Tags: sleep, sleeping, tantrums, up, waking

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Permalink Reply by Anci on August 28, 2008 at 10:17am: Do you have a bedtime routine? that might help . A bedtime routine is always important for childern.Untill about age ten or so, a child thrives on spending time with the parent before bed.Reading books, talking, giving back rubs and simply being together are all important prebed rituals.
Or you could establish an earlier bedtime. Many people put their babies to bed much too late, often hoping that if the baby is tired he will sleep better. This aften backfires because the baby becomes overtired. A baby's biological clock is preset for an early bedtime.When parents work with that time, a baby falls asleep more easily and stays asleep more peacefully. It is helpful if you establish your baby's bedtime and plan for it by beginning your prebed routine an hour before, if that;s possible.
YOu also could introduce a lovey. that will help confort your baby in your absence.
white noise might help too.

and the last thing that comes to mind tight now, is separation anxiety. AS the baby gets older, he will begin to become aware of his separatness from you. babies live in present and have a limited sense of time and memory; so when you live her she wonders where you go and worries you might not come back.
Separation anxiety is one of the main causes of sleep disorders in early childhood. Many parents find that as their baby enters the developmental stage of crawling and walking separation anxiety peaks. this is because your baby learns she can move away from you and you from her. What would help is to increase your daytime nurturing bygiving yor baby more hugs and cuddles. When baby is awake don't sneak away when she's not looking, always say goodbye or good night on your way out. Respond quickly to baby;s night time calls or cries, even if it's just to say ''I am here and everything is ok''. During the day, step periodically away from your baby and go into another room while singing or whistling, so that your baby knows that while she can't see you, you're still there.

There's a book I learned a lot from ( I am a first time mommy too) It;s called The no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley

Permalink Reply by The Marcusky Family on August 28, 2008 at 2:02pm: My 14 m.o. is having problems with sleep, too. The first wakeup is usually night terrors - he starts awake and immediately screams. The second wakeup is slower, and I think that one is because he's gotten used to our company at night and is waking himself up to play with us (this comes from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - great book). I'm having to let him cry-it-out on the second wakeup - that's how we got rid of it the first time.

The night terrors came with vacation (he learned so much and his dreams are helping him process it, but he's afraid of his dreams right now), and we started allowing him to come to bed to calm him down (ok, the hubby did), so he's willing himself to wakeup for us. That's the part that's killing us, and only c-i-t seems to work. But don't worry - no c-i-t for the night terrors - those get treated immediately; I'm not a total monster.

He also hasn't taken to a lovey yet, not matter how hard I try. I have been able to leave my t-shirt a couple of times so he can still smell me, and I think that it has comforted him at those times.

Permalink Reply by Anci on August 28, 2008 at 5:05pm: my daughter has a lovey and I have to say it works great for us....

Permalink Reply by Christina on September 4, 2008 at 10:27am: I agree with Anci. Whenever one of my children begins to have any sleep problems we move the bedtime up by a half an hour and usually within a week it has resolved. I think that a lot of children in our country don't get enough sleep and they end up overtired and unable to settle. A consistent bedtime routine has also worked for us as well as what you are doing which is understanding that once you do something it sets a precedent so deciding what you want to communicate to your child before you do something and not doing something like giving in and putting them in your bed when you really want them to learn to sleep by themselves. It is too confusing for them and they will eventually learn although it seems to take FOREVER.

Permalink Reply by Susan on September 17, 2008 at 9:42pm: My daughter is 16 months and she was doing the same thing. I increased the amount of food she was having during her last meal before bedtime, and it did the trick. Sometimes I say goodnight to all her stuffed animals and tell her they're all going to sleep, so she needs to be quiet. I also stopped having her nap past 3pm. Keep on trying new things and asking people what they think. You will find something that works for both of you eventually.

Permalink Reply by Natalie on October 23, 2008 at 12:33pm: Hi -- there hasn't been much activity on this discussion for a while, so maybe the sleeping problem has passed...but has anyone tried a white noise machine or music? Soft music used to help my son, as does the soft burbling sound of his humidifier in the winter. But I'd love a good noise machine...does anyone know of a good one? Or is there some research that says it isn't good to use a white noise machine to help a child sleep?

Permalink Reply by Anci on October 23, 2008 at 1:41pm: we use white noise since my dd was 2 months...she goes to sleep with the sound of crickets. We are using the one that came with the pack-n-play...
Or is there some research that says it isn't good to use a white noise machine to help a child sleep? I haven't read anything about that...I think it's ok, it's not like they're gonna be 30 and still needing it...

Permalink Reply by Jason on November 3, 2008 at 7:31pm: My wife and I decided to co-sleep. It doesn't always stop the midnight tantrums, but it's been a good experience overall, and we've all gotten a lot more and better sleep because of it. I'm not sure why there's such a stigma associated with co-sleeping, but my kids have grown up to be indpendent and self-sufficient (insomuch as under-4 year-olds can be). For us, the feeling was that not only was co-sleeping more natural for all of us, but that it provided good bonding time. It's not problem-free, but the pros have definitely outweighed the cons.