Toilet Training frustration! She's holding it until her pull-ups are put on :(

[Milena]

I am getting frustrated. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. My daughter is now 31 months and still not going in the potty. She has 3 different toilets that I have gotten her in order to try and encourage her, but she won't go. I have gotten her to sit on the big toilet with the Disney princess toilet cover and she sits there but won't pee. She always says that she is done, but she hasn't even gone. She goes to pre-school and they have regular toddler sized toilets there. The teacher also sits her down there and says that she sometimes goes or lets out a few drops. I am skeptical about this, since she doesn't go at home. Does anyone have any advice? The pediatrician said that this is the only time that he encourages me to use candy to get her to do something. He said to keep a bowl of M-n-M's by the toilet for positive reinforcement. But my child wants an M-n-M whenever she sits and god forbid I don't give her one-- that just makes the toilet experience a crying fit. Help...

[Stephanie]

potty time needs to be fun time too. we keep lots of book and stickers that are ONLY for potty time. we are in the phase of trying to switch to underwear so i pretty much have to remember to bring my son to the potty every 30 min or so. flash cards are also a good potty time thing or a special toy she likes. patience is definitely a big part of the training also... i often sit in the bathroom with him for 20 min reading books until he's all done. we haven't used any rewards beside just clapping and saying yay so I dont have experience with that. don't worry though she will get it eventually. =)

[Natalie]

Hi Milena,
I know it can be frustrating...my son started his potty training with great success, only to decide he didn't want to potty train after a couple of months of regularly using the potty. I realized that he wasn't entirely ready, because he wasn't staying dry at night, and my pediatrician told me that a sure sign of potty readiness is if the kids can stay dry all through the night. Has your daughter been staying dry at night? Some kids need more time...another woman I know told me that her daughter decided at age 4 that she was ready to use the potty, and she trained (fully! poop and all!) in just one day. So it could be that your daughter needs more time.

[Milena]

She does stay dry through the night and for a couple of hours at a time throughout the day. On Monday at school, she pooped in her panties (they are taking her diaper off throughout the day), but yesterday she didn't have any accidents. Teacher says that she pees when she sits on the toilet there, but I am not sure about the poop. I doubt that she did it in the toilet. She must have waited until they put her pull-ups back on in the afternoon. I am going to call in later this afternoon to find out and ask how she's doing today. I don't think that I am going to use candy to bribe her into going in the potty anymore. I am going to make a chart and buy stickers to reward her that way. Atleast we have made some progress-- she does sit on the toilet for a bit... now all she has to do is PEE or POOP in it. Last night after I put her down to sleep she asked me to sit on it twice. So I took her, but she did not pee at all. We sat there for about 10 minutes each time, but she just wanted to play. I sat next to her while she was on the toilet and let her brush my hair.

About the 4 year old-- wow! Unfortunatley, I cannot let it go past age 3. Since she is is school, she needs to be completely potty trained before she can move to the 3 year-old's class. Besides I cannot wait to remove that expense from my list!

[Natalie]

It's so great that she wants to sit on the potty, even if nothing comes out! And as long as she's doing it at school, I think you're doing great! Even playing on the potty is good...I bet she'll get it soon!

My sister, who works for a children's book company, recommends using a book called "Flush the Potty" to help with potty training. I haven't tried it, so I have no idea if it works, but maybe it's worth a try?

[Milena]

So here is an update-- I called the school to find out where she pooped yesterday-- diaper or toilet-- and to my suprise teacher said that she pooped in the toilet!!! She saw her backing up into a corner and asked her if she wanted to poop and she said yes and she took her to the toilet and did it! Awesome! So she did great yesterday and she totally was into the potty all day. Like I said she even wanted to get out of bed to sit on the potty after bed time.

HOWEVER-- today is another day. This morning, she did not want to sit on the potty. She finally did, but reluctantly and didn't do anything. After all the good news of her pooping and peeing in the toilet at school, came the bad news. She has wanted nothing to do with the toilet at school today either. The teacher even offered to take the doll she was playing with to the toilet so that they could play there and she had a fit even going to the floor crying.

Is this normal? One day they are all about it and the next day they aren't? I'm assuming that it is, since some kids completely regress after they have accomplished the task................ :(

I'm off to buy stickers for her new chart!

[Natalie]

I think her regression is totally normal, from what I've seen of other kids at my son's daycare. It's SO GREAT that she had such a good day yesterday -- now she's probably a little bit weirded out by her own success. The stickers are a GREAT idea -- my son put stickers all over his potty, too, and they were a great incentive. I'm still struggling with getting him to poop on the potty. He likes to pee in it a lot, but he still poops in a corner in his pull-ups...

[Zicea Becks]

Oh, you're okay.

That's why it's called potty-training....when you're trained for job, you gonna make a few mistakes.

They do that. Poop one day, then poop on themselves the next!

The sticker chart is nice.... but you have to dang-near ring a bell so they can correlate the two.


I know you work, so it's harder to stay on her 'poop-schedule'. Just like us, we poop and pee about the same times everyday (even with the coffee rush).

In a way, you have it good, but in a way it's bad with the pre-school thing.

My kids can't even be admitted into the pre-schools they went/are going to if they weren't potty trained.

This leaves it all on you (the working mommy) to potty train if you were in my boat. But then again, they (the school) may reverse what you're trying to teach.

My 2 year old is kinda going to the potty. She's so enthusiastic about the toilet. too enthusiastic! I took her with me to the Cal Mart and I went to the restroom. I don't sit on the toilet in public, I squat. Even if there are seat covers. She's in the stall with me..watching...just watching the pee fall. so i finish and go to pull my pants up, and Slater is pulling her dress up so she can "squat, mommy!"

so i'm standing there thinking "aw sh*t...what if she really has to go? But it's a public toilet...aaaawww d*mn!"

so i triple layer the toilet seat, sit her on there, and she just sat there...for like 5 minutes. Everytime i go to take her off, she goes "i'm NOT done!"

With Denim (now 4) I told him, "now make sure you tell mommy when you have to go to the pot." we were out shopping at Neiman Marcus, and you know how they can be snooty there with their food and champagne while you shop. Okay, so Denim just bust out and says, "Mommy! I Gotta BOO BOO!"...so everyone just gave me this dirty dirty look.

I had to play it off and wisk him off the the bathroon so he could go.


SO, you just never know with kids and potty-training. It's definitely a trying time.

I personally say since there is no deadline for her to be potty-trained, just take your time and be patient.

[Milena]

Has anyone ever encountered this problem? My daughter had that one good day in which she peed and poo'd in the toilet. Ever since then she has refused. Fine. Now in order to train her we (the teacher and I) have been putting panties on her as opposed to pull-ups-- these are just diapers to her. Now she is not peeing or pooping until she has her pull-ups on. Her teacher was worried that this may cause irritation or infection, so after three and half hours of her not doing anything she put her pull-up on for nap time- well she had to change her twice due to the amount of pee that she did once it was on. I have noticed that she doesn't pee either from the time I pick her up at school (5:30) until it's bed time and she has her pull-up on (8:15-8:30).
I don't know what to do or if this is even healthy for her. The teacher potty-trains every toddler that has come through her class succesfully, but Eva is proving to be the most stubborn about it yet. I do feel that I have a deadline since she should move to the 3 year old class when it is her time. That leaves us 5 months.

[Milena]

Thanks for sharing... maybe if I give her a few weeks then re-introduce...