end to co-sleeping?

[isimom]

My daughter is 3 months old and my husband and i would love to have a little privacy for the first time since her birth. We started co-sleeping soon after coming home from the hospital and for the last week I've started trying to put her in her bassinet. But she's still waking up every 1-2 hours (more frequently than when we were all in bed together) and frankly we only get to successfully put her in the bassinet--and have her actually fall asleep there--1-2 times a night...the rest of the time I fall asleep with her in the bed after nursing. Any advice?

[isimom]

Thanks, that's helpful. yes, I'm dubious about our pediatrician's advice.
cute baby!

[aussiemum21]

I do think that starting co-sleeping straight away was probably not a good idea, for the simple reason that babies do very quickly fall into the routine that you set for them. I did have my son in the same room for the first month but he was in his crib. It is going to be tough to get your daughter out of this routine but you are going to have to stick with it if you do want your own privacy again. I found that after one month I was sick of having my son in my room because I would wake to even the slightest movement that he made, so I started him in his own room after that, and after a while he got used to the fact that I wasnt there in the same room and would fall asleep. If you lie your daughter on her back then I would try putting her to sleep on her side, with her blanket hugging her back and her stomach to keep her there, she would then feel a bit more safe and maybe more like she is in bed with you, because going from a bed with mummy and daddy either side to being on her own that is going to be scary so something that is hugging her a bit more might help her to settle.

Hope this helps

[Casey]

My wife and I 'bit the bullet' early and never did the co-sleeping thing, mainly because our bet was too soft and the classes we took had us scared to death about the whole SIDS thing. Mom still has to get up every 1-2 hours to feed, but he'll have moments where he'll sleep 4-5 hours at a time, unswaddled. It was journey to get to that point, though.

[SamEsmomma]

My son is only 12 days old but we've found that we enjoy having him in our bed so much that we've gone against what we expected to do and let him sleep with us. One of the main reasons is that my husband works so much that he doesn't get much time with him except for bedtime. I read that as long as your baby starts sleeping in his crib before 6 months, it shouldn't be TOO hard for him to get used to it. What I've decided to do is let him take daytime naps in his bassinet and crib during the day so that he gets used to it. I'm sure he'll cry at first but at least it won't be at night. I'm hoping this will make the eventual transition to sleeping there at night easier.

[Anne]

I found the same thing, except I'm the one working and Daddy is stay-at-home. I find it comforting to sleep next to my son. Sometimes when we get up to feed in the middle of the night, I'll go out to the living room to our rocker/recliner and when he's finished eating, I'll burp him then lay back and we'll take a nap while he snoozes on my chest. We're both very quiet sleepers in that we don't move a lot so I haven't worried about him falling or getting squished or anything.

[Tawn]

This whole discussion is prompting me to write in. Of COURSE your baby wants to sleep next to you. The night is dark and long and generally colder than the day. I'm imagining from what you all have written in that most of you sleep with your spouse in the same room in the same bed, although i'd venture to guess that most of you have the resources for you and your spouse to sleep in separate beds and separate rooms. Why is it that adults CHOOSE to sleep with someone when it is not necessary, yet believe that babies should sleep on their own?

Doesn't it stand to reason that if adults choose to sleep with someone, that babies would choose that too? The cry of an infant to have their parent(s) nearby is just as valid of a need as a cry of hunger or pain, and due to their lack of mobility and language, all they have to express that desire to have human contact during the night. Any single 20-something can tell you about this deep-seated desire to sleep secure next to a loved one.

As a side note, infants until age one are recommended to sleep in the same room as their parents to help prevent SIDS. The breathing and sleeping patterns of an infant will be regulated by the mother's breathing and sleeping patterns, which is theorized to keep the baby from a breathing or sleeping pattern that may cause SIDS.

[smarah]

On a side note: Does anyone have any experience with those co-sleeper cribs that pull up next to the bed (a la Arm's Reach)? Does this kind of bridge the gap between not being able to sleep well because you're afraid of squishing the baby and having her in the same room? Just curious...

[Shag]

That is what we use. Our son is 10 weeks old. He is right next to me, but in his own space and I think this is working out very well. I am not sure what I'll do when he's too big for it! At first, he wouldn't sleep in anything but this little rocker chair because it kept him sort of curled up. Then, he slept a bit in his crib (in his room) with me on what was once the guest bed. We opted for this because Papa, as the only one working (and a physically demanding job), needed as much sleep as possible. However, I missed my husband, and baby started waking only once per night, so we moved into the bedroom with co-sleeper.

I go into the living room to nurse. We tried doing it in the bed, but it was easier to have a separate space for it than to try and rearange myself and get comfortable in the middle of the night.

[Tawn]

We have the original arm's reach co-sleeper, have had it for our six month old daughter since she was born. I have mixed feelings about it. I love that it's right there, next to the bed. It's attractive also if that matters. However, it's a huge pain to maneuver around, as I have to get towards the foot of the bed to get out of bed. The mattress on it is low quality, and there is a ledge built in that I didn't expect and really don't like to keep the baby from rolling into your bed (I have to maneuver around that too to soothe her.)

She generally only sleeps the first shift of the night in the co-sleeper, allowing us all to go to sleep comfortable, then next to me for the rest of the night. If we had a king sized bed I would completely forgo the co-sleeper, but with only a queen sized and a 6'2" husband, we don't really have enough room to comfortably go to sleep with all of us there.

[Anne]

I was going to use one of these, but a close friend who started out with one said they quickly switched to using a Snuggle Nest instead so we just went with the Snuggle Nest.

[Cyndi]

We co-sleep with my son who is 12 weeks old - funny enough I am having an opposite problem! We started to put him into his crib at bedtime (around 7-7:15) just to get him used to it and he sleeps there like a log. When I go to bed, around 10 pm, I bring him into bed with me, and keep him there for the rest of the night. But I noticed that he sleeps sooo much better alone in the crib! With me, he grunts and moans and moves around - all while sleeping. So of course, I wake up like 15 times, including the 1-2 times he wants to nurse during the night. As much as I absolutely LOVE having him with me, I think he might be telling me that he's ready to be a little more independent...and I gotta say, I'm kind of bummed!!! I am going to try and leave him in his crib tonight after I go to bed with a monitor on and see how long he sleeps....

[christian mom]

"and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."
Placing your child in a bassinet or crib is following in the gracious & loving footsteps of Mary with her precious son Jesus!