3 Weeks and Counting without Technology
My oldest, Mesa-14, is on punishment.
In past post, I mentioned how Mesa has this little love interest. He'll be 16 soon. Don't really like the idea of boys...especially when they have facial hair.
A few weeks ago my husband and myself went to dinner with some friends. The nanny was at the house with the kids. They were all in bed before we left. Mesa was the only one up. She didn't have any homework, and was kinda hanging out.
Okay. So we go to dinner.
I ended up at my office after dinner to pick up something (I was with one of my other friends we went to dinner with) my husband went home first.
I get home. My husband is hysterical. He's usually the calm one.
He went to check on the kids (like we always do when we come home). Mesa wasn't in her room...or anywhere else in the house!
Lupe (the nanny) was like, "We watched the show and she went upstairs to go to sleep. I even checked on her!"
NOW, I'm panicked.
I decide to check the house myself. A few minutes later, she's in her room. Before I could even yell, my husband went crazy. "WHERE WERE YOU?! DON'T LIE!!!".
Mesa was white. Me upset and yelling? sure. My husband? Never.
You can see she was trying to find a lie, but isn't good at lying. My husband walked closer towards her and she burst into tears. "I don't want to be sent away!".
This was the moment where I had to turn into good-cop. I told her to just tell us where she was.
It was at that boy's house!
She swears they were just in the pool swimming. She had on a damp bathing suit underneath her dress.
Mind you, it's a bit after midnight.
My husband went off again.
After I got everyone calmed down, I talked to Mesa. She claims they didn't do anything (sexual). They just swam and talked.
I called the boy's mother's cell phone. She didn't answer. I called the next morning. Apparently, she had a terrible migraine and took something to help her sleep. Which is why she didn't answer her phone. Which is why her son had the balls to invite Mesa over to swim.
The mother was PISSED! The one reason why I don't forbid Mesa from talking to the boy is because his mother (and father...who is usually away on business) is on top of him. She's hard core. We get along.
Anyways. Mesa is on punishment. No iPhone. Not laptop. No TV. No hanging out after school. No parties. No nothing. You go to school. Come home. Do homework. Bath. Then bed. Repeat.
Her birthday was this week. she knew she wasn't getting a party like last year because she messed up. But my husband and I decided to take her to dinner with 3 of her best friends. She was gracious about it. Her sisters made her a cake. and her brother (Denim-5) tried to finger the frosting off of the cake.
To be honest, I'm not sure if the punishment was enough or too much. Mesa's never done anything out of line. And I was SOOOOO angry when I happened. My husband was SOOOO angry. I didn't want to punish her based on that anger.
Right now, its' harder for her to see that boy because she's at an all-girls school. So she doesn't get to see him. I'm quiet sure she talks to him through her friend Maya's phone when she's at school. But that's limited.
I said that the punishment will be over when I say it's over. So she has no idea when she's free again. Neither do I. I'm still upset.
In past post, I mentioned how Mesa has this little love interest. He'll be 16 soon. Don't really like the idea of boys...especially when they have facial hair.
A few weeks ago my husband and myself went to dinner with some friends. The nanny was at the house with the kids. They were all in bed before we left. Mesa was the only one up. She didn't have any homework, and was kinda hanging out.
Okay. So we go to dinner.
I ended up at my office after dinner to pick up something (I was with one of my other friends we went to dinner with) my husband went home first.
I get home. My husband is hysterical. He's usually the calm one.
He went to check on the kids (like we always do when we come home). Mesa wasn't in her room...or anywhere else in the house!
Lupe (the nanny) was like, "We watched the show and she went upstairs to go to sleep. I even checked on her!"
NOW, I'm panicked.
I decide to check the house myself. A few minutes later, she's in her room. Before I could even yell, my husband went crazy. "WHERE WERE YOU?! DON'T LIE!!!".
Mesa was white. Me upset and yelling? sure. My husband? Never.
You can see she was trying to find a lie, but isn't good at lying. My husband walked closer towards her and she burst into tears. "I don't want to be sent away!".
This was the moment where I had to turn into good-cop. I told her to just tell us where she was.
It was at that boy's house!
She swears they were just in the pool swimming. She had on a damp bathing suit underneath her dress.
Mind you, it's a bit after midnight.
My husband went off again.
After I got everyone calmed down, I talked to Mesa. She claims they didn't do anything (sexual). They just swam and talked.
I called the boy's mother's cell phone. She didn't answer. I called the next morning. Apparently, she had a terrible migraine and took something to help her sleep. Which is why she didn't answer her phone. Which is why her son had the balls to invite Mesa over to swim.
The mother was PISSED! The one reason why I don't forbid Mesa from talking to the boy is because his mother (and father...who is usually away on business) is on top of him. She's hard core. We get along.
Anyways. Mesa is on punishment. No iPhone. Not laptop. No TV. No hanging out after school. No parties. No nothing. You go to school. Come home. Do homework. Bath. Then bed. Repeat.
Her birthday was this week. she knew she wasn't getting a party like last year because she messed up. But my husband and I decided to take her to dinner with 3 of her best friends. She was gracious about it. Her sisters made her a cake. and her brother (Denim-5) tried to finger the frosting off of the cake.
To be honest, I'm not sure if the punishment was enough or too much. Mesa's never done anything out of line. And I was SOOOOO angry when I happened. My husband was SOOOO angry. I didn't want to punish her based on that anger.
Right now, its' harder for her to see that boy because she's at an all-girls school. So she doesn't get to see him. I'm quiet sure she talks to him through her friend Maya's phone when she's at school. But that's limited.
I said that the punishment will be over when I say it's over. So she has no idea when she's free again. Neither do I. I'm still upset.
Tags: boys, co-parenting, dating, daughter, family, love, phones, punishment, school, teens
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Anci on -
I don;t think the punishment was too much! What if something happened??? you had no idea where to find her!
Oh, I don't look forward to the teenage years!!!
-
Permalink Reply by Zicea Becks on -
Hi! How ya been?
Well, Mesa has her phone and laptop back now. When I gave it back to her she had this weird look on her face. I asked her what was wrong. She tells me that she's learned how to live without a phone. What is she suppose to do with it now. LoL.
She was very grateful and she wrote a letter (all her own doing) to myself and my husband saying how she was sorry and how she thought it was okay because she wanted to impress the boy (that she was grown up and not a kid). She said that she knows the rules and will use better judgment in the future. She also said that she is going to work hard to earn our trust back. She said that she hates knowing we were disappointed with her.
My husband NOW sees why I don't like her having a boyfriend. Yes, she made the choice. But I feel like boys are a major distraction. And vice versa if I had a son her age.
© 2009 Created by Team Babble
