book suggestions

[sara]

Hello All,
I have a 10.5 month old and am looking for a few suggestions for parenting books. I know that is a pretty personal choice, but like I said, just looking for your favs ;o) My little guy is still a bit too young for discipline, but I know he's going to be telling me NO any day now ;o).
Thanks!
ETA
any books on educational activities would be great too!

[M Baxter]

I like the "Positive Discipline" books. I like Living Love and Logic too.

But I think the most important thing is to find a book on child development. When your baby starts saying "No" it's tempting to want to start disciplining him. But your discipline will be far more effective if you know what your baby is actually capable of.

Lots of people really struggle with their parenting techniques because their expectations (which are good, really) just aren't age-appropriate. You worry, as a parent, that you'll raise a thug if you don't teach your kid how to be good right away.

For instance, a four year old will often suddenly develop the ability to think abstract thoughts, which have nothing to do with concrete objects in front of him. He can imagine things, invent stories- and "lie". It's normal and common for four year old kids to be UNABLE to tell the difference between something that happened and something they imagined. Understanding that can be really helpful to you as a parent.

Otherwise you spend a lot of time wondering why your kid is so difficult, when really, he's just two, or three, or four.

Just my two cents. I wish I had understood this better with my oldest two kids. I worked hard to help them understand the rules, but looking back, I can see clearly that I could have handled them more positively and gently if I had understood their developmental abilities. On the up side, I'm willing to learn. Sounds like you are too.

[sara]

M Baxter, thanks so much for the reply. You actually named exactly the type of book I am looking for, I'm definitely more interested in the developmental aspect over the discipline aspect. I had about 3 seconds to post my ? and just stated it as such for lack of better explanation.
My son is my 1st and I'm sure mistakes will be made, but I want to try my best with as much knowledge under my belt as possible.
I'll check into your book recommendation...

[Healthy Mom]

James Dobson has writen some great books, I read different books by him for each of my children. I needed to take a diffent approach with each of my children when they were very young. Because the male brain and female brain work very differently. For more information about that and how to approach the female and male mind look up Dr Levine. His information is very valuable.
I started using a marble system with both of my kids at about 2 you can learn more about the marble system under Manners/tips at http://junkfoodkids.com WE still use this system today and it works great most of my kids friends parents have started using it as well and love how it has helped their family. It also works great for potty training 1 for pee and 2 for poo. Good luck

[Melissa Benson]

When I was pregnant I read a book called Our Babies, Ourselves by Meredith Small, that I really enjoyed. It is not an instructional parenting type book. It is more philosophy to help you understand how babies think and develop and how your culture and biology influences your parenting. It has helped me to look at my daughter differently than I think I would have if I had not read it. For activities I love Babies First Skills by Miriam Stoppard. All her books are wonderful. For general advice on babies I have Dr. Spock, What to Expect series, and Touchpoints by T. Berry Brazelton.