Circumdecision

[laura]

I am seeking suggestions, advice, support. My husband and I vehemently disagree on whether or not to circumcise our son, due late october (a few months from now). He is for it, and I am against. Both of us quite passionately. I am feeling very stressed about us not being able to agree, and time is running out. Any assistance, suggestions, personal experiences - pro or con - would be helpful.
Many thanks.

[Julia]

I'm sorry but 'let the father decide and never look back' is horrible advice. For something as serious as circumcision there should this method of choice would not be OK with me.

Really it should not be the parent's choice, but should be the child's choice. So if when the child comes of age (13) and wants to be circumcised, support them in that decision.

Essentially circumcision is genital mutilation, it should be treated no differently than female circumcision.

This link will show you what the circumcision process looks like in a normal routine circumcision. Have your husband look at it and decide if he still thinks it is OK.

http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell/

[laura]

Julia - thanks for the comments and perspective. I agree with you, and feel very strongly that this isn't our choice to make for our son. I also agree that it is mutilation, and this whole thing is breaking my heart.

Does anyone know if "consent forms" need to be signed in order to get this procedure done? (We live in Canada). If not, I'd be shocked - and if so, it could come down to me simply not signing. A ridiculous solution, but if it's all I've got...

Thanks again. I will have my husband watch the video.

Laura.

[M Baxter]

Weelllll...

My husband and I had this argument when we were expecting our first birth child. He didn't even think about it, circumcision is just what you do.

But we talked about it (our local hospital is kind of anti-circ, they'll do it, but they don't want to). And in the end, I told him that if he wanted to have the baby circ'd, he had to take the baby in and hold him while they did the procedure. If you can't stand to be there and watch, then no optional cosmetic procedure for the baby.

That was it for my husband. No circumcision.

We did agree that if the boys want to be circed when they are older, we'll support that.

[Leanne Ferree]

why continue a disgusting tradition of unnessecary mutilation. i know men who have the natural thing and they dont seem to have any problems with it.

[Ty Joslyn]

We had girls, but before we knew, my wife and I went around around, both of changing our minds..Were even Jewish and I was just really torn over the idea. I am glad that I didn't have to make the decision...

[dygtarae]

Very funny baby...
flexpet

[laura]

Update - baby boy came 5 weeks early. He is 5 days old now (doing great) and is 'intact'. And best of all, it seems that this is how he will remain.

I am unsure whether I "convinced" my husband of anything, or simply wore him down, and usually - for the sake of relationship maintenance purposes :) - I would care. But in this case, I don't. My son remains intact, and that is good enough for me, regardless of how the decision was arrived at. My husband has capitulated, and, bless him, doesn't seem at all resentful, regretful, etc. I think it just took him some time to digest and to really consider the rationale behind the procedure. (Pray there are no foreskin-related complications for baby boy down the road, or the "i-told-you-so's" could be deafening. :))

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions and support. Your contributions helped, and are very much appreciated.

Now if only we can decide on a name...

Cheers,
Laura.