CO-SLeeping Help
I have an 18month old son who is a co-sleeper. My situation is different than most because we sleep in his bed, which is not a crib. First My child has never once slept through the night, and that means I have not had a full nights sleep in over a year. THe routine goes he is nursed to bed, then I go about my business doing college work or whatever, he wakes up two hours later nurses goes to bed, and wakes again in a couple of hours. This goes on until I go in there to lay with him. My son does not have a crib and he sleeps on a futon matress on the floor. I gave his crib away because he couldn't use it any more. For one he was very close to figuring out how to get out of it, and two if I left him in it to cry he would bash his head on the bars which was causing a lot of dark brusing. I decided that putting him in a crib was doing more harm than good so all he has now is that futon. The problem with the futon is that he is not constrained to his bed he is free to get up and move around. If I leave him in his to room let him cry it out he just goes to the door and bangs his head on that while he cries. The sad thing is I don't leave him in there that long to cry, only like 5 minutes. Right now I let him cry becasue he won't go to sleep. For about a month now he has decided that he will go to bed on his own terms, and the only way I can get him to bed at a reasonable hour (before 11pm) or to take a nap is to make him cry for about five minutes. Our bed time routine is a diaper change, a book, nursing until he drifts off. Only lately he skips the drifting off stage and the strange thing is he is the one that asks for a nap. I understand there is a whole sleu of problems here. I am looking for advice on what I can do to get this child to 1) Ultimatly go to sleep without nursing or me 2) Not throw such a vicious fit and hurt himself when I leave the room 3) or even just go to sleep when he is supposed to. Dad is a jerk and won't help, not that I would want him to anyways because he get easily and violently fustrated, so that option is out. Please spare me your views on breastfeeding, I am not looking for your personal philosophy on nursing, just tips or resources.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Petra on
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Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child and read it from the beginning. You will learn how babies sleep and how to teach them to soothe themselves. It is unfortunate that he is already a year and a half and is set in some bad habits, but if you stick to it and follow the book, I think you may have some success. But you will need to let him cry a little bit and not let HIM control the schedule. You are the boss and you decide the schedule.
Good luck to you; I hope you have some success soon!
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Permalink Reply by Lullaby Luna on -
Ultimately, your son needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep. You are doing this for him... until he does that things will continue. The futon is a problem at this age for him learning to soothe himself- it is hard to set boundaries... here are a couple ideas:
(1) Use a pack n play (soft sides (phil & teds even has a mesh top)
(2) Take him back to his bed in his own room every time he gets up.
(3) Do not nurse to sleep- nurse before as part of your routine is fine!! He needs to learn to soothe himself to sleep- NECESSARY!
(4) He needs to go to bed around 7pm or so and take one nap at 1ish! Sleep is so important to brain development, behavior, overall health, and your sanity.
Seriously, you can do this and it will change your life. Change your view on crying- it is his way of complaining about the change not that he is in pain.
Contact me for more help.
Courtney, mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer LullabyLuna
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