Having It All?
I would love to hear what you think having it all is for today's woman, for YOU. Here's a little perspective from my life.......I am looking forward to hearing how you manage to have it all and what you would consider postponing if anything.
I was at a networking event this week. One of the topics of discussion was career path. The greatest theme among the dialogue was compromise. And the consensus was that you can't have it all, all at once. I think I've always felt that way, but right now is a time where there is everyday application of that philosophy. This season of my life bears with it great transition. But honestly, when isn't there transition? I am in talks to bring on another partner within the BabysitEase franchisor. I would focus on developing the franchisees that are already in our system and focus less on sales & brand marketing. My husband is running for political office- for the first time ever. We are thinking about, even moving on to planning, for him to leave his corporate position to work more on an entrepreneurial venture. And I'm a new mother to a very busy toddler. This past year I was so distracted by how joyous and tender every day was with our first child that I didn't realize the amount of WORK and commitment we were investing in him. We also have a relationship with a family of three girls that live with their grandma because their parents aren't in the picture. One of the girls is over every weekend to have a break from her family, to see how a healthy family functions, and to get some help with life skills. Needless to say, there are many and important demands on my schedule. As I'm sure there are on your schedule.
All of that, this hectic schedule we keep, is balanced with a couple values we have: we will maintain a strong marriage that lasts, we will build a strong family with strong children, we will conduct ourselves with excellence at work, and we will give back. The month leading up to the election was out of balance. We were overextended with campaign commitments. As soon as we made a free night, by postponing a get together with friends, we spent some time as a couple, checking in on our marriage and our investment in each other. We made some time as a family going to the market and playing on a Saturday afternoon. We went for a walk together in the evening. Those things cost me some productivity- writing my blog was delayed, getting my marketing emails out was postponed, and the campaign banner hung limp for 12 hours longer than planned, but we always bounce our demands off of our values. And I do want it all. But I won't gain it all at the cost of what's most important. I just need to remember what it is that's most important, for the long haul and not just for today.
I was at a networking event this week. One of the topics of discussion was career path. The greatest theme among the dialogue was compromise. And the consensus was that you can't have it all, all at once. I think I've always felt that way, but right now is a time where there is everyday application of that philosophy. This season of my life bears with it great transition. But honestly, when isn't there transition? I am in talks to bring on another partner within the BabysitEase franchisor. I would focus on developing the franchisees that are already in our system and focus less on sales & brand marketing. My husband is running for political office- for the first time ever. We are thinking about, even moving on to planning, for him to leave his corporate position to work more on an entrepreneurial venture. And I'm a new mother to a very busy toddler. This past year I was so distracted by how joyous and tender every day was with our first child that I didn't realize the amount of WORK and commitment we were investing in him. We also have a relationship with a family of three girls that live with their grandma because their parents aren't in the picture. One of the girls is over every weekend to have a break from her family, to see how a healthy family functions, and to get some help with life skills. Needless to say, there are many and important demands on my schedule. As I'm sure there are on your schedule.
All of that, this hectic schedule we keep, is balanced with a couple values we have: we will maintain a strong marriage that lasts, we will build a strong family with strong children, we will conduct ourselves with excellence at work, and we will give back. The month leading up to the election was out of balance. We were overextended with campaign commitments. As soon as we made a free night, by postponing a get together with friends, we spent some time as a couple, checking in on our marriage and our investment in each other. We made some time as a family going to the market and playing on a Saturday afternoon. We went for a walk together in the evening. Those things cost me some productivity- writing my blog was delayed, getting my marketing emails out was postponed, and the campaign banner hung limp for 12 hours longer than planned, but we always bounce our demands off of our values. And I do want it all. But I won't gain it all at the cost of what's most important. I just need to remember what it is that's most important, for the long haul and not just for today.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Peggy on -
Aderet- I don't know if your sweet boy is under a year, but I thought it was much harder to leave him when he was an infant that I think it is not as hard to leave him when he's a rocking and rolling toddler. I found that it gets easier- and it's great that he likes one of his babysitters more than he likes me- I never feel bad about heading off to a meeting when he's screeching with joy at the sight of Ms Lynda.
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Permalink Reply by Zicea Becks on -
I feel like I have it all...but my definition is a bit off (ha!).
I have 6 healthy kids, who are smart and talented.
I have my own money and I'm self-made. Educated, multi-business owner, etc.
I own several properties with MY name on it, not some guy that I married that could walk away at any moment.
To me, being totally independent IS having it all.
I try to balance the kids and my career, but I never felt like I didn't persue something because I had kids.
It's funny because I never really knew if I wanted kids. or to even be married.
At 18, I was in love and got married, and when Mesa (13) came along, i was happy because i was in love. then the others came, and here we are.
the only thing that I really wanted in life was to be able to do my own thing and not be upholding to anyone. and this is true for me today. the kids are the fondant icing on the cake. : )
sure, it's hard when I have to be on the other side of the world for a week and the kids have to stay behind because of school. I just learned really early on in my motherhood to adjust.
I love my husband ( I have to say that or it might not be true) but our marriage isn't something to write a novel about...or even some pathetic story in Cosmo.
I'm glad I was never one to throw myself into a man completely. I don't knock women that do. But you know the ones who never persue their dreams and end up having the kids while he lives his life, and then you're stuck contemplating. That never made sense to me. My point is, if I did that, I'd be career-less, and stuck at home with kids that eventually don't need you there 24/7 because they grow up and have their own lives. You can always resort to Burbon, but the job it does on your liver and skin....
But all jokes aside. I love my life right now. I'm very grateful for the life I can provide my kids, and the fact that I can be an example to them (ha!!!).
Not having to worry about anything and being happy and healthy is having it all....and I'm sure no matter the details, that is the same for everyone. (ohh that last part sounded good...like a commentary on 20/20 or something)
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Permalink Reply by Ms Savvy Mom on -
To me having it all is appreciating what you have today be it health, family, faith in yourself and your accomplishments, etc. Enjoy every moment life has to offer instead of being bitter because of something you don't have. I embrace life's experiences no matter how good or bad because life as we know it is way to damn short for us to be bitter, depressed or unappreciative. Some people have it all and don't recognize it because they want their lives to be better. Sadly those people will never be happy no matter how much they have.
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Permalink Reply by Peggy on
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You said your definition of having it all is a bit off. But I think that's why everyone's "Have It All" can be so different- it's not a bit off, it's yours.
Does your husband work? Do you have the more demanding job between the two of you?
And my goodness- 6 kids is A LOT of fondant icing on that cake!
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Permalink Reply by Zicea Becks on
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LMAO, yeah, one day I woke up and I was like "sh*t, there's 6 of them!" (joke).
my husband works. His career is pretty demanding also.
I just have a higher net worth than he does, and I had money before I met him or any other man that has been in my life, so I've always pride myself on being independent.
If he walked away right now, we can live the same lifetstyle we've always lived.
But i'm grateful for him too. He's a great father and he loves the kids.
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