Letting Go

I'm struggling to let go of my child and allow her to become her own person. I did the natural childbirth, breastfeeding and attachment parenting thing. Now that we're so closely bonded, I'm finding it hard to separate. I know it's totally natural for her to detach and separate from me but how is a parent supposed to handle it--and even encourage it? Need help and suggestions from other parents...

http://laboroflove.typepad.com/laboroflove/2009/10/unconditional-lo...

Tags: detachment., go, independence, letting

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Permalink Reply by Emily Geizer on October 21, 2009 at 9:32am: You are right that it is natural for her, Taz. More than natural, it is critical. And, you are the best person to support her to become her own, unique, beautiful person.

I write a parent education blog about parenting through the child's perspective. Studies show that understanding your child's perspective has the biggest positive impact on your child over anything else you can do.

So, you are asking the right questions. In fact, the fact that you are asking shows what a wonderful mother you are.Two articles come to mind that might help to answer some of your questions: #1 Parenting Secret and The Secret to Connecting with Your Kids.

Good luck with the tricky balance of letting go and staying connected.

Emily
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Permalink Reply by Taz Tagore on November 10, 2009 at 11:55am: This is such a thoughtful and insightful response.
Thank you so much for the reading recommendations and mostly for your thoughts.
I'll check out your blog!

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Permalink Reply by nafi on November 3, 2009 at 7:15am: Yeah,it's hard to separate but fact is you arent getting separated.The bond btw you is there already,no matter how many friends she may get,the two of you would stil be close.
You have to guide her,talk with her,be her friend,discipline her.You would hav to balance loving her and spoiling her,it comes natural,jst make sure you sit back at times and grade yourself as a parent. ask her tutors in school about how they think she's faring as a child not jst academically.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Alexandra Webster on November 17, 2009 at 2:25pm: I really don't know but for example by leaving her with her daddy sometimes while you do other things or go somewhere, giving her small responsibilities, respecting her preferences, let her make little decisions, taking her to play dates then she mixes with other kids her age and learn some social skills. I'm not an expert, just another mom.
Just little by little, then is not too dramatic for you or her... small baby steps.

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