Vicodin is STRONG!
Got the D & C yesterday....they gave me local anesthesia and used this vaccum thingy.
nothing says "move on with you life" like the sound of a vacuum sucking out your uterus.
My husband went with me of course. and so did Kimberly.
Chris stayed with the kids (my husband gave the nanny the day off since it was MLK Day). I don't know what possessed me to leave my kids with HIM. more on that later.
so i sat in the backseat on the drive to the doctor's/medical center. i HATE sitting in the back seat....mostly because I like being in control and my road rage yelling is justified moreso if i'm driving or at least riding shot-gun.
but i rode in the back so i could stretch out. the pain was serious. almost as bad a labor pains. my OBGYN says it was due to the meds she gave me beforehand.
so we get there. my husband went to fill out some paperwork...good thing kimberly was there because he's not all that bright. (lol)
I waited for a while. maybe 10 minutes.
i was taken to the back. the nurse (who was some Big Bertha b*tch) had me piss in a cup and she went to take my blood. (i guess they wanted to make sure everything was good before the actual procedure).
this is how bad i felt:
i had on a pair of sweats, some Uggs with one leg tucked in, the other out, and an OLD Bon Jovi tee shirt that i got from one of their concerts...back when Jon was hot, not corney and singing about saving the world and peace or whatever the hell they sing about now.
my hair was in a half-a*s ponytail/rejected bun. and my hair hadn't been flat ironed or blown dry, so it was curly at the roots.
so when Big Bertha went to take my blood, i told her to hold on...wait!
her a*s snatches my arm, rubs it with alcohol and proceeds to take my blood.
now, i'm depressed, but i'm STILL a crazy b*tch. so i snatched my sh*t back and said, "I SAID hold on, gaa-damn!"
she kinda looked at me and stepped back.
another nurse had walked in the room. i guess she was making sure something was where it was suppose to be. she was all jolly and nice.
she DID have one of those annoying sweet voices. but when it comes to hospitals. i rather be with some who is nice than that ol' b*tch trying to take my blood.
i ain't no JLo, but i'm a diva too!...gon' snatch MY muthaf*ckin' arm. lost her d*mn mind.
so i was like, "can SHE take my blood????".
big bertha rolled her eyes, turned to the nice girl and said, "she's difficult.....hmmm. maybe you can try."
now i hate cliche phrases that white people think black people use, but i was like 'oh no she didn't!'.
the nice girl smiled, and tried to come to the rescue before something popped off.
big bertha was huffing and puffing like she was SOOOO incon-f*ckin'-vienced!
i said, "what did you get in that class???"
she said, "exCUSE ME???"
I said, "in nursing school. what did you get in How To Be A Rude Nurse 101?!"
Her: "I'M NOT RUDE. You're spoiled. I'm just trying to help you!"
Me: "I bet you made honor roll at B*tches 'R' Us Nursing Academy. star pupil.
she got RED. she wanted to cuss me out SOOOO bad. and i was waiting. I am the QUEEN of taking out angst on other people. i'm just waiting on someone to start with me!
But nice girl asked Bertha to leave the room. and she apologized to me. she said that they (the staff) are there to make patients feel better.
i told her that i appreciated that, and that i shouldn't have said what i said, but you'd think that the nurse wouldn't be so stank considering why i'm even there....but i WON'T appologize to her!
so, blood is taken. urine is taken. i wait for a few minutes. i was told to take my clothes off and put on that big a*s dinner napkin with a hold for my head.
nice girl popped back in and i said jokingly, "you'd think for all the money i'm paying, that they would at least give me a muslin gown. but i guess i'll do paper....".
nice girl smiled. she said that they have nicer ones, but the procedure may cause....staining.
it was like she wanted to tell me it could get messy, but then held her tongue.
she was so cute about it though.
i asked her if she could go out and get my husband for me. she said that he could stay for the procedure, he just has to get cleaned up. it's not THAT serious of a procedure (you know, like an open heart surgery).
so he comes in, and not too long after my OBGYN and another doctor came in.
there was another nurse too.
my OBGYN asked how i was feeling. i said, "f*cked."
the other doctor didn't know me, so he didn't know what to think of what i said.
my husband gave his usual smile of, 'that's my crazy wife.....'.
so i'm given some laughing gas....and i was CRACKIN' UP! Big Bertha was in there, but she was standing back by the sink. i was like, "BERRRRRTHAAAA!!!". her b*tchy a*s is kinda cool because she knew i was talking about her and she cracked a smile.
so they jacked my vagina open, and there was some fumbling, then i felt pressure. then i felt warmth. then the vacuum came on. my husband squeezed my hand hard. i started crying....i felt like i let him down....because he wanted another baby, and i was always avoiding the conversation. then when i do get knocked up, my body rejects it.
i felt weird tugging in my lower abdomen (where my uterus is located). that was WEIRD.
they had the little curtin they put up when women get c-sections ( i never had one, so this was odd to me. i wanted to see, but then again i didn't).
they had that silver pan thing and i guess it was bloody because the 3rd nurse was going back and forth to Bertha doing whatever they were doing with the pans.
nice girl was looking at my stats on the machine (i was hooked up to a heart thing).
the last thing i remember was the blood pressure thing squeezing my arm and i said, "if y'all let me die, i'm fux y'all up!".
[fux is how teens text 'f*ck' on their cell phone. i learned this from Mesa-13]
i woke up and i heard the nice nurses sugary voice. i was in a different room, and my husband was at the door talking to the nurse and my OBGYN. they were telling him that i should stay off of my feet and that most women can go back to work after 24 hours. but she (my obgyn) suggests that i stay away from work for a week or two....because my business is high stress.
when my husband saw that i was awake he came over to me and asked how i felt. i said AGAIN, "f*cked".
this time i really did. it felt like a tracktor ran over me.
remember that movie when Reese Witherspoon was little and she played this girl in love with the same guy her older sister was into and he got ran over by the tracktor hay thingy and got chopped up????
THAT'S how i felt.
my husband told me that he loved me and that i was okay.
i fell back asleep, and when i woke up, i was in my bedroom.
i HATE that kind of stuff. it's like being abducted by aliens or something....you know, the missing time.
i was f*cked up....i remember hearing Denim-4 say, "put the macaroni in the sock!!!!!".
i rolled over in attempt to get up and regulate, but the drugs were STRONG!
i feel back asleep.
when i awoke again, i was IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my husband gave me some vicodin that the doctor prescribed. he said that i had to change the pad they gave me.
eww. i haven't worn a pad since i first started my period, which was like 10 years old. i HATE those things. and they weren't the cute Always ones, of course. they were the SUPER off-brand Kotex kind.
my husband helped me up to go to the bathroom and i went to close the door behind him, but he said that he will help me.
i DID need help. i don't even remember what happen after he said that!
i woke up again, he was trying to feed me some clam chowder ( i LOVE clam chowder).
i remember taking like 3 bites, and falling back asleep.
i woke up again, and my husband gave me more drugs. he got in the bed with me ( i guess it was night time) and i curled up under him.
I had pre-set my alarm for today at 7am...so that i wouldn't miss the swearing in of Obama.
(note: i mainly voted for him because he's black, and I'm black. and there is a certain service you have to do when you're black. it's almost like proving i'm black enough or some twisted sh*t like that.)
my contact lenses haven't been taken out since Monday morning, so my eyes were kinda funky. my i wear O2 Optix and they are pretty good for long term wear.
i called out for Mesa. the nanny came to me. i asked her to help me out of the bed and downstairs. she looked and said, "umm....mr. becks said not to let you do anything....".
i told her "f*ck him!. i can't miss this. he can't even vote!" (he's british)
she smiled and helped me downstairs into the adult playroom.
the kids were half dressed for school, and my husband was trying to feed them cereal.
he knows i don't play that sh*t. but i didn't fuss.
he was HEATED when he saw that i was up.
(i'll talk more on that in the next post).
nothing says "move on with you life" like the sound of a vacuum sucking out your uterus.
My husband went with me of course. and so did Kimberly.
Chris stayed with the kids (my husband gave the nanny the day off since it was MLK Day). I don't know what possessed me to leave my kids with HIM. more on that later.
so i sat in the backseat on the drive to the doctor's/medical center. i HATE sitting in the back seat....mostly because I like being in control and my road rage yelling is justified moreso if i'm driving or at least riding shot-gun.
but i rode in the back so i could stretch out. the pain was serious. almost as bad a labor pains. my OBGYN says it was due to the meds she gave me beforehand.
so we get there. my husband went to fill out some paperwork...good thing kimberly was there because he's not all that bright. (lol)
I waited for a while. maybe 10 minutes.
i was taken to the back. the nurse (who was some Big Bertha b*tch) had me piss in a cup and she went to take my blood. (i guess they wanted to make sure everything was good before the actual procedure).
this is how bad i felt:
i had on a pair of sweats, some Uggs with one leg tucked in, the other out, and an OLD Bon Jovi tee shirt that i got from one of their concerts...back when Jon was hot, not corney and singing about saving the world and peace or whatever the hell they sing about now.
my hair was in a half-a*s ponytail/rejected bun. and my hair hadn't been flat ironed or blown dry, so it was curly at the roots.
so when Big Bertha went to take my blood, i told her to hold on...wait!
her a*s snatches my arm, rubs it with alcohol and proceeds to take my blood.
now, i'm depressed, but i'm STILL a crazy b*tch. so i snatched my sh*t back and said, "I SAID hold on, gaa-damn!"
she kinda looked at me and stepped back.
another nurse had walked in the room. i guess she was making sure something was where it was suppose to be. she was all jolly and nice.
she DID have one of those annoying sweet voices. but when it comes to hospitals. i rather be with some who is nice than that ol' b*tch trying to take my blood.
i ain't no JLo, but i'm a diva too!...gon' snatch MY muthaf*ckin' arm. lost her d*mn mind.
so i was like, "can SHE take my blood????".
big bertha rolled her eyes, turned to the nice girl and said, "she's difficult.....hmmm. maybe you can try."
now i hate cliche phrases that white people think black people use, but i was like 'oh no she didn't!'.
the nice girl smiled, and tried to come to the rescue before something popped off.
big bertha was huffing and puffing like she was SOOOO incon-f*ckin'-vienced!
i said, "what did you get in that class???"
she said, "exCUSE ME???"
I said, "in nursing school. what did you get in How To Be A Rude Nurse 101?!"
Her: "I'M NOT RUDE. You're spoiled. I'm just trying to help you!"
Me: "I bet you made honor roll at B*tches 'R' Us Nursing Academy. star pupil.
she got RED. she wanted to cuss me out SOOOO bad. and i was waiting. I am the QUEEN of taking out angst on other people. i'm just waiting on someone to start with me!
But nice girl asked Bertha to leave the room. and she apologized to me. she said that they (the staff) are there to make patients feel better.
i told her that i appreciated that, and that i shouldn't have said what i said, but you'd think that the nurse wouldn't be so stank considering why i'm even there....but i WON'T appologize to her!
so, blood is taken. urine is taken. i wait for a few minutes. i was told to take my clothes off and put on that big a*s dinner napkin with a hold for my head.
nice girl popped back in and i said jokingly, "you'd think for all the money i'm paying, that they would at least give me a muslin gown. but i guess i'll do paper....".
nice girl smiled. she said that they have nicer ones, but the procedure may cause....staining.
it was like she wanted to tell me it could get messy, but then held her tongue.
she was so cute about it though.
i asked her if she could go out and get my husband for me. she said that he could stay for the procedure, he just has to get cleaned up. it's not THAT serious of a procedure (you know, like an open heart surgery).
so he comes in, and not too long after my OBGYN and another doctor came in.
there was another nurse too.
my OBGYN asked how i was feeling. i said, "f*cked."
the other doctor didn't know me, so he didn't know what to think of what i said.
my husband gave his usual smile of, 'that's my crazy wife.....'.
so i'm given some laughing gas....and i was CRACKIN' UP! Big Bertha was in there, but she was standing back by the sink. i was like, "BERRRRRTHAAAA!!!". her b*tchy a*s is kinda cool because she knew i was talking about her and she cracked a smile.
so they jacked my vagina open, and there was some fumbling, then i felt pressure. then i felt warmth. then the vacuum came on. my husband squeezed my hand hard. i started crying....i felt like i let him down....because he wanted another baby, and i was always avoiding the conversation. then when i do get knocked up, my body rejects it.
i felt weird tugging in my lower abdomen (where my uterus is located). that was WEIRD.
they had the little curtin they put up when women get c-sections ( i never had one, so this was odd to me. i wanted to see, but then again i didn't).
they had that silver pan thing and i guess it was bloody because the 3rd nurse was going back and forth to Bertha doing whatever they were doing with the pans.
nice girl was looking at my stats on the machine (i was hooked up to a heart thing).
the last thing i remember was the blood pressure thing squeezing my arm and i said, "if y'all let me die, i'm fux y'all up!".
[fux is how teens text 'f*ck' on their cell phone. i learned this from Mesa-13]
i woke up and i heard the nice nurses sugary voice. i was in a different room, and my husband was at the door talking to the nurse and my OBGYN. they were telling him that i should stay off of my feet and that most women can go back to work after 24 hours. but she (my obgyn) suggests that i stay away from work for a week or two....because my business is high stress.
when my husband saw that i was awake he came over to me and asked how i felt. i said AGAIN, "f*cked".
this time i really did. it felt like a tracktor ran over me.
remember that movie when Reese Witherspoon was little and she played this girl in love with the same guy her older sister was into and he got ran over by the tracktor hay thingy and got chopped up????
THAT'S how i felt.
my husband told me that he loved me and that i was okay.
i fell back asleep, and when i woke up, i was in my bedroom.
i HATE that kind of stuff. it's like being abducted by aliens or something....you know, the missing time.
i was f*cked up....i remember hearing Denim-4 say, "put the macaroni in the sock!!!!!".
i rolled over in attempt to get up and regulate, but the drugs were STRONG!
i feel back asleep.
when i awoke again, i was IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my husband gave me some vicodin that the doctor prescribed. he said that i had to change the pad they gave me.
eww. i haven't worn a pad since i first started my period, which was like 10 years old. i HATE those things. and they weren't the cute Always ones, of course. they were the SUPER off-brand Kotex kind.
my husband helped me up to go to the bathroom and i went to close the door behind him, but he said that he will help me.
i DID need help. i don't even remember what happen after he said that!
i woke up again, he was trying to feed me some clam chowder ( i LOVE clam chowder).
i remember taking like 3 bites, and falling back asleep.
i woke up again, and my husband gave me more drugs. he got in the bed with me ( i guess it was night time) and i curled up under him.
I had pre-set my alarm for today at 7am...so that i wouldn't miss the swearing in of Obama.
(note: i mainly voted for him because he's black, and I'm black. and there is a certain service you have to do when you're black. it's almost like proving i'm black enough or some twisted sh*t like that.)
my contact lenses haven't been taken out since Monday morning, so my eyes were kinda funky. my i wear O2 Optix and they are pretty good for long term wear.
i called out for Mesa. the nanny came to me. i asked her to help me out of the bed and downstairs. she looked and said, "umm....mr. becks said not to let you do anything....".
i told her "f*ck him!. i can't miss this. he can't even vote!" (he's british)
she smiled and helped me downstairs into the adult playroom.
the kids were half dressed for school, and my husband was trying to feed them cereal.
he knows i don't play that sh*t. but i didn't fuss.
he was HEATED when he saw that i was up.
(i'll talk more on that in the next post).
Tags: and, bed, bertha, big, c, crap, d, family, husband, iud
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Zicea Becks on -
thanks for the support!
xoxo
-Zic
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Permalink Reply by Cindy Fallsen on -
Yes that is strong medication. Does your Medical insurance or Citizen insurance cover the D&C?
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