What did you use? What sat in the corner?

[Andrea M. Houghtaling]

I'm pregnant with my first child and I'd like to know from those of you who have been there and done that what you would reccomend as must haves? I am not interested in acquiring a ton of stuff, my husband and I really do not believe in acquiring a lot of things just to have things. So with that in mind, what could you not have lived without? What did you get but never use? What did you have but could have gone without? Thanks.

[Zicea Becks]

"my husband and I really do not believe in acquiring a lot of things just to have things"


lol...i'm sure a lot of people feel the same way. it's not like people consciously acqure things because they want an empire of stuff.


anyways, to answer your question;

I have 6 kids and some things were different with each kid as far as need goes, but i guess the must haves for me are:


Crib
Changing table
Rocking chair w/ ottoman
Bottle Warmer (i gave breast milk with all 6, but i pumped most of the time)
Car Bottle Warmer
Breast pump- Very handy for me. I couldn't always have a baby to my boob
Baby wipe warmer - i used it a lot when they were newborns.
All in one carseat/stroller
Workout stroller- i go running, so i need one. if you don't, scratch that one
Lightweight stroller- for when they are a bit older. i use a bugaboo frog for my youngest, Slater-2.
Peanut shell/baby sling- very good for newborns
A sturdier papoose for when they are bigger- after 6 months
Baby tub-this worked for me when they were newborns
Baby monitor-good if you have a larger home.
Baby swing- a lifesaver
High chair- make sure you check the product reviews!
Gates- you'll thank me when your baby is crawling


hmm... i'm trying to think.


for Slater, I got a bassinet at my baby shower. At first, i was like, "ah, i'm not going to use it", but i did for the first month or so at work. i had the Moses Basket, but I was an emotional wreck after having her and I felt like the bassinet was better for my office than a basket with a name giving connotation to a slave ditching her baby in the river for some chick to raise so she didnt have to have sex with her brother.


see, i said i was an emotional wreck! lol


I think the above list is the things that I HAD to have and really used/got my money's worth.


other things are the obvious ones, like bottles, outlet covers, diaper bag(s), 102 onesies (yeah, stock up on those!).

[Anne]

Hi Andrea. I completely understand the desire to only accumulate that which is necessary, so here's my list by way of trial and error:

-A Swing (the type that can go side-to-side and back-and-forth like a Fisher Price Papasan). We didn't originally register for or buy one, but quickly learned why we needed one. There was a while when our daughter would only nap while being held, or in the swing.

-Changing Table & Pad. My mother tried to convince me to just change her on the bed, but many a disaster has been averted having a changing table.

-Bebe Pod/ Bumbo seat for when the kiddos are just starting to sit up. It's more reliable than propping with a boppy or pillows.

- Boppy- Whether or not you breastfeed, it's nice to have baby nestled close and have a place to rest your baby/arms.

- Ergo Baby Carrier-- we bought the Baby Bjorn which is great until they hit about 15 lbs, then it starts to wreck your back, we also bought the Mei Tai carrier, which I found to get saggy/allowed her to slouch too much when carrying her on my back... I also felt like I had to kind of lean forward to keep her in place. The ergo carrier is great because it's pretty comfortable even with my 18 month old in it. It can be a front, back or hip carrier, and it has the little head hammock if they fall asleep en route.

- A Carseat/Stroller Travel System. Let sleeping babies lie.

I'm sure there's other stuff, but that's what comes to mind.

Congratulations & Good luck! :)

Anne

[beckettsmom]

I just had my first and he is three months old, so keep in mind I'm no expert yet, but so far I have been super surprised to find that you really don't need almost anything. A lot of the furniture & baby gear just takes up space, so if you'd rather not invest in it, I'd say follow your instincts and keep it as simple as possible.

Can't live without:
Arm's Reach Co-sleeper (if you're going to co-sleep, this gives the baby its own little space)
Medela manual breast pump (you think you will need the super expensive electric one, but this one is silent and portable and easy to use.)
Glider rocking chair
sling/carrier/shell (my husband like bjorn, and I like the moby wrap, so test a few at the store if you can.)
washable fabric changing pad (you are going to end up changing them everywhere anyway)
car seat
humidifier
tons of diapers
tons of baby blankets

Totally useless so far: (at least for us.)
Crib (lol. I know we'll need it eventually.)
Changing table
Baby bathtub (we had two and I made my husband donate them to an animal shelter. They were both total disasters every time we tried to use them. Now we just take him in the shower/bath with us.)
diaper genie
bottle warmer
papasan
baby shoes

Surprisingly necessary things:
Bumbo seat
diaper wipe warmer
at least one outfit you can throw on in one minute and feel/look good in

Don't forget the last one! Congratulations!

[momolly]

My son is four months old, and one thing I do wish I'd invested in sooner was a comfortable nursing chair. It makes a huge difference. Gliders are awesome, and whether you nurse or bottle feed, one thing is for sure: you'll be feeding your baby all the time. Having a comfy place to do it is a big help.

A breast pump was also something I absolutely could not have lived without. My baby had a lot of problems nursing for the first two weeks of his life- so I pumped every three hours and bottle fed him until we both learned how to nurse! If you are planning to breastfeed, I totally recommend investing in a pump. I have an electric one (Medela pump in style) and I bought a bra that allows me to pump hands-free, which is great if you find that you have to pump a lot. Even if you have no problems breastfeeding, a pump is great b/c you can pump and then go take a nap and have daddy or grannie feed the baby during those tough first weeks.
We got a bottle warmer as a gift, and since I did exclusively bottle feed at first, that was a lifesaver. Medela also makes bottles that are safe(r) when they are warmed.
And just to echo what others have already said: definitely you want a couple different ways to tote the baby: the bjorn or some kind of carrier, a sling, etc. Your back and arms will get sore from carrying the baby, so it's nice to be able to mix it up a bit.

As for things I believe you can do without: I skipped the changing table- I just bought several waterproof changing pads and I change my son in his crib. From what I've seen, changing tables are very expensive, and the cheap ones are really crappily made.
I also skipped the diaper genie thing- we mostly do cloth but at night I do put him in disposables, and I just bought a little metal kitchen garbage can with a foot pedal. It works fine.

Good luck!!

[The Peveteaux-Goldmans]

Hi Andrea,

The thing is, some babies absolutely need a swing, other babies scream the entire time they are put in...so other than the very, very basics (car seat, stroller and/or sling or carrier, crib or bassinet or co-sleeper, onesies, swaddle blankets and a place to put the baby down where he is entertained - playmat, bouncy seat or other) it's different for every kid.

One way we got around this was to find a local group of moms and pick up used swings, exersaucers and Bumbo seats for free or at very little cost. When we were finished, we passed them along to another neighborhood family. We had a swing that worked like a charm for about two months. Since we got it for free it was amazing, had we paid for it we would have been very upset. The Bumbo did nothing for our daughter, but other people swear by it. The exersaucer was used until it was almost destroyed. But your baby will be different. Look on the Playground Groups and see if you can connect with parents in your area. If there isn't a group, start one, and also ask other members here if they know a parent in your neighborhood and if they have an organized group. You can save a load of money and get stuff in and out of your house very easily by swapping baby gear. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!

April

[James&Cindy]

Bumbo - works great as a temporary highchair, just set it on the table in front of you and feed away!!! At least til they realize they can buck their hiney up out of it.

Exersaucer- When they refuse to lie down and your arms are too tired to hold them anymore, this is a Godsend

Easy clothes- Onesies that completely unsnap and lay flat. Trying to wrestle a screaming, tired child into an outfit with one arm while holding them with the other arm is no fun.

Classical CD- provides just enough "white noise" that Mommy and Daddy can make some noise of their own in the next room.

[Melissa]

Things I used for 2 days that now collect dust: Diaper Genie (It fills up fast and pinches my fingers), Wipe Warmer, Swing (He hates it) and Video Monitor (We can hear him cry just fine). Things we LOVE: We use our Arms Reach Co-Sleeper a TON and I wear him in a sling alot. I also love my Boppy, not just for Breast Feeding, but for support when holding him as well. We use a ton of recieving blankets and lots of sleepers. Hope that helps.

[GabrielsMom24-7]

My baby is four months old and I have yet to use the Playyard that I just had to have. Baby will grow so fast that I do not recommend buying hardly any clothes in newborn or 0-3 month size. Here are my must haves, and why.

#1 The vibrating bouncy chair! From day one this $19.95 item has been invaluable. It calms him when he is fussy, puts him to sleep if he is fighting sleep. It is also fully portable and gives baby a safe place to be when you need to take a shower or fix something to eat. Just put baby in and use your foot to bounce/entertain him/her. This was also a lifesaver during the first month as we let him sleep in it. 2 hours instead of one hour of sleep was a big improvement. He sleeps in his crib now, but at the time I was borderline delirious from sleep deprivation.
#2 Wipe warmer. I was totally against this item, but it has been a favorite of both mine and babies...especially in the middle of the night. Cold wipes will make a sleepy baby fully awake very quickly.
#3 Boppy. Great for breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, and holding baby without wearing out your arm. I have also used it as a convenient pillow for a quick nap!
#4 Diapers, and wipes. Not exciting, but extremely important for helping to control costs. Buy in bulk and ask others to do the same.

[Esther]

It totally depends on what kind of baby you. IMO. My dd was very difficult. We had every gadget but the only one she liked was Mommy. Now my ds on the other hand is completely different. He is very easy going and laid back. I love our Graco Sweet Peace Swing. It's expensive but well worth the money. The other thing he loves is a bounce seat, we still use that when we are watching T.V. and he is tired but not quite ready for a nap. I have to have a boppy. I use it in many different ways. Those are the only things I absolutely need to have.

[E. Caruso Parnell]

I don't know if I could have made it through the first few weeks without the Miracle Blanket and the Moby Wrap. As for buying other stuff, we've found a lot of good used items through used baby stores and the internal web-service at the school board where I teach. Most people use these items so lightly that there's lots of life left in them!

[MamaJ]

We never use:
-a fancy mobile, rattles and stuffed animals (the baby, 4months, seems more interested in household items like measuring cups and spoons than in toys as such)
-co-sleeper/crib contraption (so far we've been very happy just straight-up sharing our bed)
-the stroller (we've just always used the sling/babybjorn thing for outings)
-several pairs of baby shoes (people gift these things because they're cute, but the baby hates them)
-my nursing tank-tops/nursing bra (I get by just fine with regular cheap camisols and my ratty old bras-- just pull them down and take out a tit)

Must-haves:
- a baby carrier of some kind-- moby wrap is probably best for an all-in-one
-a bouncy seat, or something that allows you to put the baby down without laying her flat on her back. I've prepared countless meals with baby watching from the bouncy seat on the kitchen counter. The bouncy was only $15 on craigslist. I suppose a swing would serve the same purpose, though the seat moves easily from kitchen to bathroom to wherever)
-large receiving blankets for swaddling (see if you can't nab a couple from the hospital-- they're much bigger than the tiny ones you find at the store)
-inflatable changing pad from ikea. No need to buy the accompanying furniture-- the waterproof pad comes with two covers (one's usually in the wash), is portable, and cheap.
-a nursing cover. You could make one by cutting a head-size slit in a receiving blanket, but the ones they sell online aren't so expensive, and they do provide a nice little "window" to see what you're doing. "bebe au lait" is the brand I use )

Nice, not essential:
-nursing pillow. I used mine quite a bit during the first two months, though a regular pillow probably would've done the trick.

[Pam]

When you are in your ninth month, you will go into a nesting frenzy. Keep in mind that it's only temporary. Funny, I think people unconsciously try to create little empires, starting with acquiring too much material stuff and ending with trying to control other people's behavior. It's a way to regain the control lost in the process of becoming a parent, I guess.

We only used our bassinet for a couple of months; now our baby sleeps in his crib or our bed. He is the 3rd baby to do this. We live in NYC where space is a premium, so we skipped stuff like Boppy pillows, Bumbo seats and travel systems. We found ways to use things for multiple situations, e.g., we use the car seat/carrier as a bouncer. We used a cup of warm water instead of a wipe warmer. I (not dad) use toilet paper and old rags/wash cloths instead of wipes. You don't need an ottoman, or a rocking chair for that matter unless you really want one. You will need to find, through experience, several comfortable places around the house where you can sit. Babies get bored.

I'd skip the monitor unless your house is huge. Also, I'd just get one, ergonomic Bjorn-type carrier for the whole infancy period, no slings. I'd also skip the diaper bag and just get a small insulated lunch bag for carrying milk. We used a makeup bag with a couple of diapers and a small kit of wipes.

A changing table helps; I wouldn't go without that, but some people do with just a towel on their bed or couch. We would not go without *lots* of (BPA-free) pacifiers. It helps to have a few toys, but I agree that household items like big cooking spoons are just as fun. We find the exersaucer very handy, but to get full use out of it, I install the toys on it one by one. If you leave the baby with the whole shebang he'll get overstimulated or bored and the giant toy will be useless in a couple of days. I do find mobiles useful for the crib and the changing table. Swings are great, but not necessary. A high chair is a great place to entertain, even before you have a feeding routine. A baby bathtub is very useful, though only for a couple of months.

Definitely get a breast pump, but minimize the number of bottles, which can really pile up if you're nursing a lot. We use the Lansinoh bags to store milk in the freezer. If you're office-bound like me, you should invest in an emergency manual pump, too. It absolutely sucks when you can't pump.

Finally, you should invest in big baby clothes, size 6-9 months, because everyone you know will give you a cute onesie or something in the tiniest size. If you have a girl you may want a small wardrobe with hangers for dresses. I agree with the other parents about shoes. Unless they are soft booties that stay on well, shoes are useless and cause the baby stress.

Good luck with your new baby!