I haven't posted about Michael's progress in day care. In the past month and a half things have gotten a lot better. Instead of clinging to me on the way in, he marches happily alongside me. He still cries when I drop him off, but it's mostly for show.
I have developed a pretty good relationship with the teachers. I know almost all of their names (which is really impressive for me) and I have good conversations with the morning teachers when I drop Michael off.
Over the last week a new challenge has developed. Biting. On Tuesday Michael bit a kid 3 times. Then on Friday it happened again.
First of all, it's a terrible feeling when you see the day care number pop up on your work phone. You know it's not something good. Nobody ever calls to say "Michael mastered a new skill!" It's either he's sick, he's peed up his clothes and doesn't have any extras, or like this week, he's bitten someone.
Second, I feel terrible that he's hurt another child. I'm totally out of control here. I wasn't there to see how it happened, I wasn't there to stop it and I wasn't there to make sure it doesn't happen again. So I really don't know how to make him stop.
I've seen Michael go after a kid before. In his old daycare, he and another little boy were good buddies, but also fought a lot. Typically one or the other would snatch a toy and that would set it off. At a birthday party, little D commandeered a riding toy from Michael, who took after him with fists and teeth of fury. He was pissed off! But that hadn't happened in a long time.
In the first biting incident, I believe there was provocation. In the second instance, according to the teachers there was not. Which is even more disturbing. What was going on in his mind?
I've ordered a book called "Teeth Are Not For Biting" and I have given him a pacifier to get used to. Perhaps if he brings that to school to chomp on, he'll refrain from chomping on his friends. Other than that, I can't do much else. He's too young to understand a lecture. And apparently you're not supposed to give too much attention to the act of biting because they might keep doing it to get a reaction. And Michael is definitely a fan of reactions.
It's funny how as parents we feel such a sense of shame over something we can't control. It's not like I've condoned biting or taught him how to properly chomp his friends. Yet I feel like his behavior reflects on me. Perhaps it's my fault he's a meany sometimes.
More likely he's tired and frustrated. Michael is a good sleeper. On the weekends he takes 3 or 4 hour naps. During the week he's up at 6:00 and gets a 2-hour nap at best. We pick him up at 5:30 or 6:00, feed him dinner shortly afterward and he goes to bed 7:30 or 8:00. So maybe it's still my fault that I work so far from home and can't pick him up sooner. No matter what, I'll still feel bad about it.
Hopefully next week will be better for both of us.
Tags: biting, daycare
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