We Are All Extensions of Each Other

[Three Ms]

In my last post, I talked about my feelings of connection with my son. About how each day he moves closer to being his own person. During the week or so since writing that, it's been running around in the back of my mind. I'm sure my mother felt this way about me once. And then it dawned on me that I felt that way about her once too.

As a child, as much as our parents see us as being a part of them, we view our parents as extensions of ourselves. A kid has no concept of their parent(s) having a life that doesn't include them. I think at one time I had the feeling I knew everything about my parents. But all my knowledge of them came from what they did for me, what they said to me, how they reacted to me. Then at some point, I don't remember when, perhaps somewhere in my teens, a realization came over me that my parents had a life before me. That they weren't perfect, they made mistakes. That who they were wasn't defined by me. It seems simple now, but it was mind blowing at the time.

And right at that point, I suppose as I was becoming my own person separate from them, they were materializing as people separate from me. I didn't own them. They didn't exist solely for my benefit and their world turned on its own axis.

So I guess we are all extensions of each other in some way, but also totally separate. Like a galaxy, related but each star its own separate entity. (Forgive me astronomers if the anaology doesn't quite fit, it's not my strong point.) Somehow that made me feel a little less sad about my son growing slowly away from me. Hopefully he will feel as close to me as he ages as I still feel to my parents.