Three Ms

Dear Michael: You are 16 months old now and life for me has changed so much. You are the child I have always longed for, the fulfillment of my life’s desire. That’s a lot to put on one little person, but I’m trying to let you be your own little man. You will have your own dreams to fulfill without taking on mine. Your existence is enough. That being said, there are some things about our life that I feel aren’t fair to you. And for those things I’m sorry. 1. I’m sorry I’m in my 40s. I really w… Continue

Until recently, my child was a model sleeper. Went down at roughly 8:00 every night with not so much as a whimper. Last Saturday we went to a birthday party and then to my mom's for the rest of the weekend. His naps and his bedtime schedule was disrupted. On top of that, I've been on vacation this week, further disrupting his usual routine. Since Tuesday, Michael has been crying when I put him down to sleep. I have veered between letting him stay up a little longer and letting him cry it out.… Continue

In my last post, I talked about my feelings of connection with my son. About how each day he moves closer to being his own person. During the week or so since writing that, it's been running around in the back of my mind. I'm sure my mother felt this way about me once. And then it dawned on me that I felt that way about her once too. As a child, as much as our parents see us as being a part of them, we view our parents as extensions of ourselves. A kid has no concept of their parent(s) having a… Continue

Mother love can be a selfish kind of love. Not entirely, but we all know about the selfLESS side of mothering. The sleepless nights, breastfeeding etc. But parts of being a mother are special privileges that are mostly (usually) the domain of the woman, the mother. That's what I was musing on today, the selfISH side of my relationship with my son. Pregnancy was kind of selfish. I enjoyed the special attention of my partner, my family, his family, our friends and even complete strangers. Long na… Continue

Michael is my son. He's 15 months old, 24 pounds and full of energy and attitude. I've always been around kids. I've taken care of lots of toddlers. I've even worked in a day care center. But that was when I was a lot younger and I didn't have to take them home. Now I've learned that being the mother of a toddler is EXHAUSTING. During the day, so many topics occur to me that I'd like to write about. But by the time I'm home and get a chance to fire up the computer, I'm so tired I can't think an… Continue